Easy Targets

Never missing the opportunity to pile on Steelers and their slack jawed fans, I thought I'd make a quick post (Tom started it). Believe me when I say Steelers fans FROM Pittsburgh really don't bother me. Root for the home team, I get it. That said Steelers fans FROM Ohio, especially Cleveland, that have zero ties to Pittsburgh need to have a stern talking to. There's a guy at the recreation center that wears the same Steelers shirt and Indians hat everyday. Babies with AIDS, world hunger and Al-Qaeda make me less upset than this douche. It's not just him, I see this a lot around town. It's inexplicable.

Let's examine the prototypical Steeler fan. They say imaginary words like "Yinz" and "Stillers". They are also crazy over a Pittsburgh delicacy they affectionately refer to as "Jumbo". What's "Jumbo"? It's freaking bologna. Literally. They eat it on white bread and toss some mayo on it if it happens to be a special occasion.

Martin Cizmar of the Phoenix New Times wrote this right before this last Super Bowl, "I once called the Steelers "White Trash America's Team" and they are. There's something about the black and yellow -- perhaps it is the black and yellow itself -- that draws food stamp re-sellin', meth-cooking rednecks into the fold. Every team has a few loud, boorish fans; the "Stillers" have a few normal ones. Go into the shittiest dive bar within five miles of your house anywhere in America and start shit-talking the team -- you'll find a guy in jean shorts to argue with. Try the same thing with the Bears, the Patriots or even the Packers -- the percentages won't compare."

Cizmar continues, "In 1967, the NFL came up with a really great marketing gimmick and started calling its championship game the "Super Bowl." No one outside Pittsburgh considers championships any less impressive if they occurred before that date, but ask a Steelers fan about it and you'll hear that such games are "ancient history" and that "no one cares." The roots of this disconnect run to the fact that, as best I can tell, the average Steelers fan is born to a mother who is 16.2 years old, meaning it really has been like four generations since the Super Bowl started. Also, however, they're covering a deep-seeded insecurity about their pathetic past. For the first 40 years of their existence, the team was a joke. In terms of championships, they're still behind this weekend's opponent, the Packers, as well as the Bears, Giants, and Browns." What does that distinction mean? Those other teams are old money. Class acts, all of them. The Steelers are, in contrast, like the owner of a really, really successful dirtbike dealership. He's got a lot of money, but no one in polite society has much interest in socializing with him, and no one wants him moving into their neighborhood and installing a jacuzzi the size of a small golf-course pond. Just look at a guy like Toby Keith --

the Okie is a lifelong Steelers fan with analbum called White Trash With Money -- and you get a pretty good picture of Steeler success. They (and the refs) deserve credit for their championships -- especially the ones in the '70s, which former Steelers players have admitted they did Mark McGwire-style, with the assistance of steroids, a drug the team is largely responsible for having introduced into the league. Should those championships therefore have a big, fat asterisk on them?"

I know the article is slightly dated, but the message is timeless; despite the Steelers championships, the team and their fans are garbage. As Tom pointed out so delicately in the previous post, the team has some unsavory characters.

Steelers QB and a female that may or may not have ingested Rufalin...

The Browns QB and his lovely wife...

There's really nothing else to say after this to describe the difference in quality between the quality of players. I will leave you with this...

Typical male and female Steelers fans...

Typical male and female Browns fans...

Well, at least we have attractive female fans.

Hines Ward is a Pittsburgh Steeler

Hines Ward busted for drunk driving.

Least surprising thing ever, right? I mean honestly we should give him a medal for not raping anyone while drunk driving...

...or for beating his girlfriend like an out of control head-hunting psychopath...

Everyone likes to poke fun at the Bengals for being a team full of criminals, but honestly as far as despicable crimes go the Pittsburgh Steelers have the corner on the market. Luckily for Hines the Pittsburgh fans have the shortest memories of any sports fans anywhere, ever. It's true that in Cleveland we coddle our players and turn a blind eye to idiocy from our players (and their mothers, *ahem*), but would we really accept a rapist back? I'd say no. Donte Stallworth got cut from the team for the manslaughter thing, but when Harrison beat his girlfriend the Pittsburgh organization said it was a personal matter. You may say "Whoa, slow down handsome, your giant penis is sucking the blood away from your brain, Stallworth took a man's life! None of the idiotic misanthropes on the Steelers killed anyone!" When has killing a man ever been an issue for an AFC North player?

The idiotic degenerate Steelers fans welcomed their mailbox headed hero back with open arms after his miniscule suspension for a crime that should have landed him in jail. As long as he's winning games he's not a rapist, right Pittsburgh? Well.... perhaps they just don't care that he's a rapist. Maybe in the dank hell hole that is Pittsburgh rape is like a crying baby here. You aren't crazy about it, but it doesn't really bother you enough to make a big deal out of it.

I digress. I guess where I'm going with this is that Hines Ward should be excused for his bad behavior. Are people expecting a Steeler to not be a Steeler? Can you tell a Clevelander not to be a genius? No and no.

Quick recap:

The Steelers offensive stars:

Ben Roethlisberger - Rapist

Hines Ward - Drunk driver, consistently ranked one of the dirtiest players in the league

Rashard Mendenhall - Osama Bin Laden apologist and 9/11 conspiracist

Defensive star:

James Harrison - Hits women

It's unshocking that Steelers fans are some of the scummiest, most disgusting rednecks to ever gulp their horrifying dying fish breaths on the face of the earth. Pittsburgh is a disgusting cesspool where philistines breed and live. It is the exact opposite in every way of the cultural oasis of higher learning, tolerance, and beauty that is Cleveland. Go Browns.

Indians, Million Dollar Man and My Ipod is a Real Jerk...

My wife and I attended the Indians game tonight and even though they lost it was a great atmosphere. The Indians lost to the Blue Jays in 10 innings and there were plenty of Canadians there acting like Canadians. The funniest/most embarrassing moment of the night was after a Grady Sizemore home run my section broke out in a U-S-A chant...

Our seats weren't too bad...

In the game program tonight there was an advertisement for a promotion that the Lake County Captains will be holding on July 22, 2011. I have nothing witty to add so I'll let the photo speak for itself...

Soooooooo who's going to the Captains game with me?

Lastly, while we were at the game they showed Derek Jeter's 3,000 hit. I wanted to see it again so when I got home I jumped on YouTube and was going to type the keywords "Jeter" "Derek" and "3,000". I started with Jeter and my Ipod suggested I correct my word. I'll leave this one up to you to determine what it was going for here....

Joe Haden for Mayor

Confession time, I love Joe Haden. Not platonically, I mean like passionate, sweaty, feeling secure in his embrace love. This guy is all over the place. He's in Beachwood buying random people lunch at Sushi Rock, he attends every major Cleveland sports event in full uniform (Browns included, lol, right guyz!?!?) and he just seems to be the antithesis of everything that flew south last summer. NOW Joseph is going to be hanging with the Cavs #1 draft pick at a Drake show...

@Ky1IrvingKyrie Irving

I think @drakkardnoir is going to be in Cleveland on the 22nd...please believe ill be there with the bro @joehaden23...yessir!!

2 hours ago via webFavorite Retweet Reply
This reminds me of the days when Kenny Lofton would invite Michael Jackson to Indians games and sit him first row in center field. Or when Joey Belle would have Shawn Kemp over to his house to take Shawn's kids trick or treating and then proceed to run them over with his car. I digress.
Joe Haden is a breath of fresh air and I can't wait to see him back on the field once this lockout ends. In the meantime I'll take him coming over my mom's house to wash her car BECAUSE HE WOULD TOTALLY DO THAT.

UPDATE: Official Cavs D-League Affiliate in Canton!!

     As reported yesterday, The Cleveland Cavaliers today unveiled their new D-League affiliate team in Canton, OH. Cavaliers' owner Dan Gilbert may own and operate the team, but it's up to us, the fans, to name it.

     "Having the ability to own and operate a D-League franchise in Canton once again illustrates our ownership's outstanding commitment to creating a culture of success," Cavaliers General Manager Chris Grant said. "Player development is at the core of our process and being able to operate our own franchise so close to home will place us in the most strategic position to take an active part in the player development process."


     Of the 30 teams in the National Basketball Association, the Cavaliers are only the 5th team to directly own and operate their own D-League affiliate.  Last season, the Cavaliers shared the Erie Bayhawks with the Toronto Raptors as both teams' D-League affiliate.  However, the Bayhawks have recently signed an exclusivity agreement with the New York Knicks.  In response to that exclusive contract, Cavaliers' owner Dan Gilbert made moves to install a new D-League team in Canton, which will replace the New Mexico Thunderbirds in the 16 team Developmental League.  The new, as of yet unnamed team, will play their home games at the Canton Memorial Civic Center, which is located at 1101 Market Ave North, Canton Ohio.


     Said Canton Mayor William J. Healy, II, "This is an incredible opportunity for the citizens of Canton to experience professional basketball in their hometown, and I am grateful that the Cavaliers recognized Canton as an ideal market for their next generation of basketball operations."

   So, Cleveland fans, the next step in this new D-League franchise's life rests with us.  We can submit our suggestions for a team nickname at www.CantonNBA.com or on twitter, @NBACanton, and Facebook.  I assume that the most popularly submitted/best nicknames will be compiled into a poll at a later date for fans to vote on a definitive name for the fledgling franchise.  Stay tuned to Cleveland Star for more information as it becomes available.


What do you think this means for the Cavaliers franchise as a whole? What will you be suggesting as a possible nickname for this new member of the Cavaliers family? Let us know in the comments below! 

U Still Mad Bro?

July 8, 2011 marks the anniversary of Lebron telling Jim Gray’s forehead that he was heading south on D-Wade to join Wade and Bosh in Miami. This was the culmination of Lebron’s week long teasing of the Knicks, Nets, Bulls, Mavs, Clippers and of course, the Cavs. In a poorly planned moment he went from beloved sports icon shilling McDonalds and Nike to a pariah, shilling McDonalds and Nike. Locally, fans burned jerseys, effigies and bobble heads. Nationally, he was panned by columnists, radio and television personalities (except ESPN, they LOVE him and LOATHE Cleveland).

There were two points in the 2011 season that helped heal my wounds; the Cavs win over the Heat, and the Mavs c-blocking Lebron's weak attempt at a ring. Fans in Cleveland and Dallas helped make the NBA's championship-winning game for the Dallas Mavericks ABC’s most-watched week during the summer season in nearly 10 years. The Nielsen Co. said the Mavericks' series victory over the Miami Heat was seen by an average of 17.3 million people over the six games. That's a little less than the viewership for last year's Lakers-Celtics series, which had the advantage of going to a climactic seventh game. No doubt the large ratings were due to the villain Lebron has become after his decision to rip the collective guts of Cavs fans out on national TV.

It's obvious Cleveland still has a lot of feelings toward Lebron (See ratings in Cleveland for Heat games throughout the 2011 playoffs). My anger has subsided and I've accepted the fact that he'll eventually get his championship not in Cleveland.

U mad?

Cavaliers To Form A D-League Franchise?

BREAKING NEWS:

Rumors are circulating the twittersphere about a "Major Announcement" by the Cleveland Cavaliers set for tomorrow afternoon in Canton, OH.  Waiting For Next Year and the Cleveland Plain Dealer speculate that Dan Gilbert could be on the verge of announcing a Cavaliers-affiliate Developmental League team based in Canton, OH.  Prior speculation, which indicated that such a team would either be Akron or Youngstown based, seem to be debunked by the Cavaliers setting the location for this major announcement in Canton.  Nothing else is known about the announcement or the rumored team.  Stay tuned to the Cleveland Star tomorrow for breaking coverage on the major event!

5 reasons why Dwight Howard should come to Cleveland.

There are a lot of rumors floating around about Orlando looking to move Dwight Howard before his contract expires next year. I guess they don't want to get Lebroned by Howard and have nothing to show for it.  Everyone is throwing around places like Los Angeles, Chicago, New Jersey, and even the Bay Area has been added to the conversation recently.  The ideal situation for the All-Star NBA center could be in Cleveland and here are the reasons why:

Trepal Photography 

1.  State-of-the-art facilities.  Cleveland Clinic Courts building is a high tech practice and training facility, with the luxury and comfort of a woodland retreat.  The site features two main practice courts, a 3,000 square foot weight room, player lounge, kitchen, theater, hydrotherapy room, medical exam rooms linked to the Cleveland Clinic, and offices overlooking the wooded surroundings.  For a virtual tour follow the link to Cleveland.com.

Cavs fans in Snuggies! Cult meeting following the game. 

2.  The Fans.  Cleveland fans are the best around.  If Cleveland had a water polo team (do we? I have no idea),  the city would show up to support it.  Our star athletes, the few we have had, are completely idolized.  There is no where else a professional athlete will feel more embraced by the community.  We remember the Lebron circus, with children and adults crying over his departure. Cleveland fans are loyal and get attached to their players.  Dwight come spend the prime of your career in a city where you will be absolutely loved.  


3.  Young athletic team.  With the moves the Cavs have made recently, they are getting younger and more athletic.  Kyrie Irving with star point guard potential, Tristan Thompson an explosive high energy player, and Omri Casspi a small forward with size that can stretch the defense with his shooting, would flourish with the inside scoring and defensive abilities of Howard.  If the Cavs could also pull in a high scoring shooting guard in free agency like J.R. Smith, Jamal Crawford, Jason Richardson, or Michael Redd (we have been talking about him for years), the team could be highly competitive this year. 



4.  Proven coach.  Byron Scott has had success in the NBA as a player and coach.  He has won multiple championships playing with the Lakers and in his last year as a professional player he won a championship for the Greek team Panathinaikos.  As a coach Scott took over two struggling teams, the Nets and the Hornets, and turned the franchises around.  He took the Nets to the NBA Finals and the Hornets to the second round of the NBA Playoffs.  He is also known for developing and bringing the best out of his point guards.  Kyrie Irving under Scott's guidance could become a great distributor for a center like Howard.



5.  One of the best owners in professional sports.  Dan Gilbert is willing to do whatever it takes to bring a championship to the Cavs and the city of Cleveland.  He has taken a holistic approach to improving his Cavaliers franchise, from building the best facilities for his team to investing in the city itself.  He also caters to his star athletes, as we all know, which would allow Howard to be very involved in team operations.  There is not another NBAowner out there more dedicated to winning than Dan Gilbert.




Dwight Howard to the Cavs may be more fantasy than anything else, but Cleveland will always be a better destination than Detroit.

Jamison talks about what he experienced during the previous lockout.

In an article posted on newsobserver.com, Antawn Jamison discusses coming into the league as a rookie during the 1998 lockout.  The article turns into a sob story about the difficulties of going months without basketball, not knowing what he had gotten himself into, not being mentally prepared for it, and how he was affected by it the entire season.  Jamison goes on to say that this time around the players are better organized and more prepared. 


Antawn Jamison is one of the most humble and respectable players in the game today, but it is important for all players to recognize their audience during interviews.  It is not easy for the average NBA fan to relate to a dispute between billionaire owners and millionaire players.  Especially, during an economic recession, a well paid professional athlete should be careful throwing around phrases like "it was the worst ever." 


What it comes down to is that the NBA is still a business, and both sides want the largest portion of revenues possible.  Hopefully, sooner than later, the lockout will be resolved without damaging the growing popularity of the sport and alienating the fans.


For the full article follow the link to newsobserver.com. 

New Cavs gear!

A new collection of Cavs apparel is available on the team website.  There are new Hardwood Classics items and also some new Adidas shirts.  Follow the link below to check it out.